Honestly, if I could just have the attention of every single teacher out there for a moment...
Last I checked, and I may be wrong, YOUR job wasn't to bully, to be a tyrant, to belittle and make afraid, to rule over, or to verbally abuse the students you have in your care.
Your JOB is to uplift, educate, partner with parents, build confidence, improve self esteem, protect, offer a helping hand, and mentor the students in your care.
Somewhere along the way, some of you have become disgruntled, bitter, dictators of your classroom and not only do your actions cause your students to resent you and disrespect you, but it causes parents like myself (who actually LIKE to work and partner with you in the education of our children) to come unglued and go to battle...against you.
To all those teachers who actually love their jobs and understand the important role you play in our children's lives, you deserve a standing ovation for all the hard work you do!
Having said all that...
When you have an OCD child that struggles with perfection in herself, the LAST thing on earth she needs is a tyrant for a teacher. Unfortunately, we've been cursed with two math teachers in the past two years that prefer to tear down rather than lift up. What the hell is wrong with you math teachers? My math teachers in high school were wonderful and kind! Not bitter, pinched faced, and living on students baked in pies.
Here it is, at the end of the semester, and Bren took a math test today. It was worth 16 points. She missed ONE question. She made an A+. BUT... Bren forgot a pencil, and this teacher is known for her wrath so instead of asking of a pencil because she didn't think the rant would be worth it, she took the test in pen. On the syllabus it states "all work must be done in pencil." Never states the point deduction for violation.
The teacher then decided to take 5 points off for the pen. So instead of a 15/16 she receives a 10/16. That's a D my friends. FOUR LETTER GRADE deduction for taking the test in pen.
Now I would have been fine with one letter grade deduction. OR, she could have taken the 5 points off the grade not the test. Because as it is calculated, there is a huge difference between deduction of POINTS vs. deduction of PERCENTAGE. Bren lost percentage, not points.
I'm sorry, but I'm a believer in the punishment should fit the crime. This isn't even close to being an appropriate consequence. And of course, my little OCD girl is in a frenzy!
And what teachers like this don't realize, listen up teachers...this is important: ALL THIS TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER WAS, ONCE AGAIN, TEACHERS ARE OUT TO GET YOU AND COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ALL THE STUDYING AND HARD WORK THAT YOU GIVE. ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS DOMINATING AND MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE CRAP WHEN YOU FAIL AT THEIR GAMES.
So congrats to all you tired, overworked, hate your jobs teachers out there! You've managed to wound yet another spirit. Hope you sleep well tonight!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
What Will 2013 Bring Us?
Here it is...day 1 of 2013. We have a LOT to work on, and a LOT that we have overcome.
2011 was a very bad year...very hard...full of information overload.
2012 was hesitantly better...full of goals and achievements...regression and accomplishments.
But what will 2013 bring us? We are very optimistic!
Here are some goals for us though:
1. Technology & social media are an OCD nightmare. Texts must be answered, and teenage girls who send a thousand texts a day make our lives really difficult. When obsession with texting or Facebook becomes too much, we take them away for a while so that Bren's brain can calm itself. Unfortunately that means a period of freaking out because there are unanswered messages out there that drive her crazy thinking about them. If only I could tell those girls to STOP texting so much, to realize that questions like "do you think he likes me" or "what did he say when you skyped with him" cause Bren great anguish when she chooses to answer those and engage in silly conversation rather than being with family or completing daily tasks. Once an honor student, your stupid texting craze has single-handedly taken out a brilliant little girl, and I can't tell you what you're doing wrong because teen girls can't be trusted to understand real problems and keep them secret. Soooo, we are creating a "Texting Hour." Once every night, there will be an hour set aside...after ALL other things are finished...in which my daughter can engage in silly, teen drama through texts and Facebook.
I hate you Mark Zuckerburg.
2. We have to get Bren focused on school again. She is in all honors classes and she is doing ok, but her potential is not being met. She is far too intelligent for the grades she's pulling.
3. As with all obsessions, Bren has latched onto the theory of "what it means to be a teen" and is running with it. And only an OCD parent will understand what I mean. Many of you will say oh that's normal, most teens push the limits, test boundaries, etc. And I agree. However, when you have an OCD child, they up the ante on you. Bren has taken all that she has learned about teen behaviors and she takes them on herself. She actually tries to push limits or test boundaries, and she does so because she is...well...a teenager. When we force her to talk about her actions she'll respond very confused "but isn't that how I'm supposed to act, I'm a teenager." She literally changes from one day to the next as she tries out new tactics. One day she hates doing family stuff, the next she's mad because we aren't doing anything as a family, the next she looks through you with complete disdain, and the next she's wanting to talk about everything in a calm manner and tell you in a very mature way that she's sorry and she's just tired of trying to figure it all out in her head. The best way I can describe it is that she feels she needs to behave in certain ways just because she's a "teenager." She doesn't want to necessarily, and if it gets too intense she will immediately change and move on like "that wasn't working so let's try something new." There's a war constantly going on in that brain of hers as she tries to fight what's normal and what's obsession.
We still have our work cutout for us, but we're doing so much better and I'm learning immensely! It's sometimes an unending puzzle, but I'm getting a little better at solving it. As for Bren's father...well that's another post entirely. :(
I encourage all of my fellow parents of OCD children out there to continue learning, keep setting goals, and maintain the fight! Happy New Year from our family to yours!
2011 was a very bad year...very hard...full of information overload.
2012 was hesitantly better...full of goals and achievements...regression and accomplishments.
But what will 2013 bring us? We are very optimistic!
Here are some goals for us though:
1. Technology & social media are an OCD nightmare. Texts must be answered, and teenage girls who send a thousand texts a day make our lives really difficult. When obsession with texting or Facebook becomes too much, we take them away for a while so that Bren's brain can calm itself. Unfortunately that means a period of freaking out because there are unanswered messages out there that drive her crazy thinking about them. If only I could tell those girls to STOP texting so much, to realize that questions like "do you think he likes me" or "what did he say when you skyped with him" cause Bren great anguish when she chooses to answer those and engage in silly conversation rather than being with family or completing daily tasks. Once an honor student, your stupid texting craze has single-handedly taken out a brilliant little girl, and I can't tell you what you're doing wrong because teen girls can't be trusted to understand real problems and keep them secret. Soooo, we are creating a "Texting Hour." Once every night, there will be an hour set aside...after ALL other things are finished...in which my daughter can engage in silly, teen drama through texts and Facebook.
I hate you Mark Zuckerburg.
2. We have to get Bren focused on school again. She is in all honors classes and she is doing ok, but her potential is not being met. She is far too intelligent for the grades she's pulling.
3. As with all obsessions, Bren has latched onto the theory of "what it means to be a teen" and is running with it. And only an OCD parent will understand what I mean. Many of you will say oh that's normal, most teens push the limits, test boundaries, etc. And I agree. However, when you have an OCD child, they up the ante on you. Bren has taken all that she has learned about teen behaviors and she takes them on herself. She actually tries to push limits or test boundaries, and she does so because she is...well...a teenager. When we force her to talk about her actions she'll respond very confused "but isn't that how I'm supposed to act, I'm a teenager." She literally changes from one day to the next as she tries out new tactics. One day she hates doing family stuff, the next she's mad because we aren't doing anything as a family, the next she looks through you with complete disdain, and the next she's wanting to talk about everything in a calm manner and tell you in a very mature way that she's sorry and she's just tired of trying to figure it all out in her head. The best way I can describe it is that she feels she needs to behave in certain ways just because she's a "teenager." She doesn't want to necessarily, and if it gets too intense she will immediately change and move on like "that wasn't working so let's try something new." There's a war constantly going on in that brain of hers as she tries to fight what's normal and what's obsession.
We still have our work cutout for us, but we're doing so much better and I'm learning immensely! It's sometimes an unending puzzle, but I'm getting a little better at solving it. As for Bren's father...well that's another post entirely. :(
I encourage all of my fellow parents of OCD children out there to continue learning, keep setting goals, and maintain the fight! Happy New Year from our family to yours!
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